Friday, April 5, 2013

Why India is not a BEEHIVE!

Recently the crown prince of morons of India, has compared India to a Beehive and China to an Elephant. I leave my Chinese friends to do the rebuttal on the Elephant issue. I would like to say why India is not a beehive, despite risking venomous stings from the royalist, loyalist & dynasty loving supporters of Rahul Gandhi and his Congress party.

Firstly By Definition: A Beehive is a colony of bees; India on the other-hand is an independent nation of human beings (Constitutionally, at least) and not a colony. Social structure of Bees is Matriarchal, most of India is Patriarchal! So even not correct on that front :) 

Secondly FDI is not pollen : Bees gather pollen from flowers, which are found in the neighborhood of the beehive; Indians don't show any such characteristics and produce food within the country. Some naturalized Indian household however import some olive, parsley, pizza making material etc from the Mediterranean region. Perhaps Rahul Gandhi thought FDI (Foreign direct Investment) is pollen gathered from outside.

Thirdly Size Constraint: Beehives grow in size with the work of worker bees; but the landmass of India is independent of the efforts of her work-force. At this is point, Rahul Gandhi loyalists would scream "Oh! You fool, Rahul baba meant the economy of India, not the geographical India". If its just economy, then its true for every nation on earth, not just India.

Fourthly Real Estate: Real estate industry of India provides various housing solutions in apartment blocks, they come in various sizes and types, 1 BHK, 2BHK, .. 4BHK... Duplex and also Villas and Mansions. They are occupied by people coming from different strata. (Rahul Gandhi can be safely advised to talk to his CII buddies, or even his brother-in-law to verify this statement).

The honeycomb, however is more like a warehouse first and residence afterwards. Most cells are uniform in design and size and occupied by worker bees. The residence of Queen Bee is different, its peanut shaped and hangs mostly at the bottom of beehive.

Does Rahul Gandhi think 10 Janpath hangs from bottom of India? Some may argue, Rahul Gandhi thinks is a false premise.

Fifthly Drones and Indian Male: Indian men are no drones; of course I generalize here, some princes do show drone like natures.  Drones are male bees, they don't work, they don't build beehive, they don't gather pollen, carry water, fan or cool the beehive, they just don't work. Invite a drone to join the cabinet of ministers to shape the future of the country, he would disappear in thin air.

Indian men work in the field, in factories, in offices; They build homes, they start family, take up all sorts of mundane non-princely responsibilities. At this point, it is important to note, they do it well with increasing help from Indian women (Not being politically correct here, its hard fact). Among Bees, workers are actually sterile female bees. Only women work in beehive, how is that for a difference, Mr. VP Rahul Gandhi?

  • Drones don't sting, Indian Men do (For gods sake, what do you think I am doing here, joking?)
  • Drones don't have much say in sexual encounters, they don't get to choose the mating partner, but the scenario is exactly the reverse in Human beings.
  • Genetically Drones are half bee, they just have one set of chromosomes. Don't know about Rahul prince, all Indian male DNA tested had standard 22 pairs of chromosomes, plus XY chromosome, hence fully Human being.
  • Drones have sex just once, they are driven out of beehive before harsh winter. Indian men enjoy far more enjoyable life-style.

Lastly Queen Bee & Indian Woman: Even to compare women with queen bee, is insulting to the nature of Human females. Though female population of India is dwindling, but still it is nowhere as abysmal as one to thousand as seen in big beehives.

Genetically Queen Bee is programmed to be promiscuous and drones even act like Oedipus. India is no such place.

Virgin Queen Bees kill competition by killing sisters. Indian women generally will never do that.

So many differences and so few similarity, perhaps Rahul Gandhi should do some Google before choosing metaphors or selecting euphemisms. Remember Lack of knowledge is not a crime, but not learning from it, is idiocy. Men in 40s should not be like that, unless they are useless drones.

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